THE EDUCATION OF GRANDCHILDREN
Families remain the main source of education even if many institutions and different environments concur to forge the way of thinking and living of kids. This research project aimed at investigating the educational role played by grandparents and great-uncles/aunts. 1.064 people attending the Vicenza University of the Third Age were interviewed in 1996. It resulted that two thirds were grandparents and one third were great-uncles/aunts; 24.2% were men and 75,8% women. The most significant data resulting from the interview show that the educational role played by grandparents and great-uncles/aunts is complementary to the one played by parents. Grandparents and great-uncles/aunts, however, seem more solicitous to give “behavioural” education rather than “motivational” education.
1. Grandparents feel they are being useful to grandchildren. Mothers often work (55,4%) and grandparents spend a lot of time with their grandchildren (51,8%) even though they do not live with them. Grandparents feel they have to educate their grandchildren (69,5%). It remains clear, however, that education is first of all supplied by parents (mother 95,5%, father 92,5%) and then by schoolteachers (85,7%). Grandparents believe that grandchildren will retain a good memory of them (91,3%). By staying with others, they feel they can be useful to someone (75,3%; first choice 27%); they can hand on their experience (58,1%; first choice 26,1%); they can receive love and gratitude (48,6%; first choice 15,7%). They feel they are useful to their grandchildren as they pass on moral values to them (86,6%; first choice 47,4%); they take care of them (77,6%; first choice 40,9%); they teach them how to live (65,5%; first choice 5,3%).
3. Contents of education. According to grandparents, today what is most morally harmful to grandchildren is television (53,5%; first choice 19,3%), then the excess of freedom (42,5%; first choice 24,5%); giving them whatever they want (42,5%; first choice 12,1%) and the excess of permissiveness (42,3%; first choice 9,5%).
4. Conflict between parent and grandparents. Grandparents (and great-uncles/aunts) mainly criticise parents for: granting too much freedom (63,1%), making useless expenses for them (57,8%), not dedicating enough time to talk with them (53,7%), not teaching them religion (42%). Parents criticise grandparents for: spoiling children (73,2%) and for giving them whatever they want (57,7%). The most evident causes of conflict are connected with: freedom (50,1%), gifts (50,3%) and money (49,5%). By comparing the way of thinking of grandparents and parents, it results that they moderately converge about the concept of education (61,7%), while the mayor disagreements are in politics (69,6%), religion (54,1%) and lifestyle (53%). When asked if grandparents and parents discuss together, 54,8% answered not much (34,6%) or at all (20,2%), while 45,3% answered a lot (9,6%) or quite (35,7%).